Breakthroughs are rarely pretty. I’m living proof.

I shot this video early in the morning of October 1st and I posted it to Facebook without watching it. I do that when my emotions are strong so I don’t give myself a chance to change my mind. This video was public for almost 2 full days before I finally watched. Which is a good thing as I might have deleted it right away. The comments and feedback I received convinced me it was indeed a good one to release. I was quite surprised to see this video get shared around Facebook by a few friends, that’s what finally made me watch it.

I used to hit the wall of fear and not just bounce off of it, but run away from it. Sometimes trying to run away for good. I’d run so hard and so far from fear that I saw ending my life as my only option. Now, I can usually see fear not as a dangerous warning to be avoided, but as a welcoming alert telling me that some big personal growth and transformation is right around the corner, as long as I go through the fear.

This week I was getting caught up in the thought that since I’ve gone through the fear of something once it won’t show up again. But it does and it will continue to. We sometimes need to get over, under or through that wall of fear multiple times in a single day. Whenever I find myself having a “dark night of the soul” experience, as long as I allow myself to feel and express everything that is coming up for me (fears, doubts, anything) without judgement, I can move through it.

I first discovered this on vacation. I’ve been on some thrilling international adventures with Class 4 & 5 white water rafting, rappelling hundreds of feet and all sort of things I don’t do in a normal day. For some reason, because I’m on vacation I’m willing to take risks and be vulnerable. Years ago I decided to live my life like I was on vacation  – not in a relaxation or partying sense, but in a risk embracing, do what I fear, this may be my last day approach to life. Sometimes, that leads to my crying alone in hotel rooms. And I’m fine with that.

Each morning I pull an oracle card and post it to Facebook. The morning I shot this video, the card was:

Breaking Barriers.
Don’t let fear – or even reason – prevent you from overcoming barriers. Trust your instincts and push through. Remember to keep going and don’t stop. This is your time to use supreme effort to break out of your own shell and reach the light. The energy of “breaking through” isn’t always neat and tidy, so it’s okay to feel messy and chaotic for a while. Eventually, the situation will sort itself out and peace will reign.
“I am expanding beyond limitations into joy and freedom!”

Progress and success are rarely a pretty journey. It is okay to feel messy and chaotic for a while. In my experience, it has always been worth the few moments of discomfort to break though to the joy and freedom. That joy is always there. Sometimes its hiding just behind the fear.

Keep scaling those barriers! After all, most of the time we are the ones who put them there.

Be good to yourself,
Andy